Down with Bill the Bus Driver

Written by Shannon Leigh

I "commute" to work.
I park in a parking lot, that I pay for, and then wait for a crowded bus to pick me up. I am then squished with students in sweats, whom I envy, and am carted to the middle of campus, where I then sit in a cubicle all day. Did I mention I dress up everyday? To sit in a cubicle?
I know it's not like those poor people in Chicago and London and New York, but it's a commute none-the-less.

Being 36 weeks pregnant has it's challenges. Being 36 weeks pregnant in the winter presents a whole new set of challenges. Being 36 weeks pregnant in the winter AND dressing up everyday is daunting (trust me). Being 36 weeks pregnant, dressed up in the winter AND commuting on a bus available to 30,000 students is just plain insane. And today, Bill the bus driver ticked me off.

I used to work in research park, an area that is technically "off campus." I didn't know how good I had it while I was there. But boy, I would sell an organ to be able to park in the parking lot directly outside of my building (and have very little interaction with students). Granted I was traveling a lot back then and training people face to face. I didn't really mind dressing up back then. But then, I wasn't pregnant.

Bill, the bus driver, made me step in a big, icy puddle as he sped up to the bus stop this morning and was RUDE to everyone who stepped foot on the bus. He was condescending and took the corners WAY to sharp. Peanut's foot (the one that is permanently lodged in my right ribs) was holding on for dear life. The poor little thing probably thought we were riding the Beast at Kings Island (arguably the greatest wooden roller coaster ever built). I might have given a scowl, which is NOT generally like me. But then I've never been 36 weeks pregnant in the winter, dressed up and commuting. I'm really a very gracious pregnant lady after all. I swear.

The only thing that redeemed my morning was the jelly-filled doughnut that I ate. Yes I actually LIKE jelly-filled doughnuts. Apparently not very many people do. I wonder what percent of the population actually enjoys them. I bet Homer Simpson does. This particular jelly-filled doughnut wasn't as good as the one's I used to get from Mel-O-Cream as a kid, but it did the trick. My sisters used to make fun of me for getting jelly-filled doughnuts, they thought they were gross.

My eyebrows are out of control. I'm tempted to go to the salon and have them waxed but then I ponder all of the things I would RATHER do with $15, like buy 15 jelly-filled doughnuts. I get the unruly eyebrows from my dad who literally has caterpillars over his eyes. They are endearing on a man, not so much on a woman. You can always tell if I'm taking care of myself by the state of my eyebrows. Being 36 weeks pregnant in the winter and being exhausted from dressing up and commuting doesn't bode well for them. I'd take a picture but I'd be too embarrassed to show you.

Good thing I had that jelly-filled doughnut to make my morning better. I wonder if Bill, the bus driver, likes jelly-filled doughnuts?

If he does, I think I'll give them up.