Sometimes

Written by Shannon Leigh

Being a mother is hard.

Being a mother is the hardest thing I have ever done.

I mean I knew it was going to be hard but I just don't think I realized the extent of the madness.

And I only have ONE.

One child who brings me so much joy.  One child that I love so deeply it hurts.  One child who literally changed my whole world.

But

SOMETIMES

She throws a major fit at the grocery store because I won't buy her the little foam ball in the check out line

Sometimes

She whines like it's going out of style

Sometimes 

She arches her back and screams bloody murder when I try and put her in her carseat.  People probably think I am abusing her

Sometimes

She tells me to "Stop it mommy" which really gets under my skin

Sometimes 

She licks the bottom of her shoe

Sometimes 

She pulls out every single item from underneath the bathroom sink while I'm in the shower

Sometimes 

she draws on the furniture

Sometimes

she throws away my small kitchen gadgets never to be seen again

Sometimes 

She plays with the toilet water

Sometimes

I am insecure about the way I am raising her.  Am I doing ok?  Am I going to royally screw her up?

Sometimes

She WON'T eat ANYTHING but fruit and bread

Sometimes

She throws food at restaurants

Sometimes

she gets up too early

Sometimes

she won't nap like I want her to

Sometimes 

She takes off her diaper

Sometimes

she stinks

Sometimes

she's sticky

Sometimes

She just won't SHUT her trap

Sometimes

I am exhausted.

But there is absolutely nothing like having a daughter.  I wouldn't trade it for anything in the whole wide world. I feel blessed and honored and totally undeserving at times. Because...

Sometimes

She looks at me and says "I love you, mama"

Sometimes 

She kisses my cheeks

Sometimes

I find her rocking in the chair in her room with her bible on her lap

Sometimes 

She reminds me that we need to pray before we eat

Sometimes 

I go in and hold her while she's asleep and love feeling her little heart beating next to mine

Sometimes

She says "Hold you mama?"

Sometimes 

She is the flower girl in your brother-in-laws wedding and she does PERFECT

Sometimes

She looks so cute in pigtails it hurts

Sometimes 

She sings the cutest little songs

Sometimes 

she fist bumps

Sometimes 

She sits on the potty

Sometimes

we bake brownies together

Sometimes 

She has the BIGGEST smile on the planet

Sometimes 

she has the greatest belly laugh ever

Sometimes

She makes me fall more in love with her daddy

Sometimes 

she holds my hand

Sometimes

We go on donut runs

Sometimes

I just don't know what I would do without her

Honestly she is such a gift.

One that takes lots of work and lots of prayer and lots of advice and lots of help because let's be real, I have NO IDEA what I am doing.

A gift that I thank the Lord for everyday,
NOT just sometimes.