Written by Shannon Leigh
Being a mother is hard.
Being a mother is the hardest thing I have ever done.
I mean I
knew it was going to be hard but I just don't think I realized the extent of the madness.
And I only have ONE.
One child who brings me so much joy. One child that I love so deeply it hurts. One child who literally changed my whole world.
But
SOMETIMES
She throws a major fit at the grocery store because I won't buy her the little foam ball in the check out line
Sometimes
She whines like it's going out of style
Sometimes
She arches her back and screams bloody murder when I try and put her in her carseat. People probably think I am abusing her
Sometimes
She tells me to "Stop it mommy" which really gets under my skin
Sometimes
She licks the bottom of her shoe
Sometimes
She pulls out every single item from underneath the bathroom sink while I'm in the shower
Sometimes
she draws on the furniture
Sometimes
she throws away my small kitchen gadgets never to be seen again
Sometimes
She plays with the toilet water
Sometimes
I am insecure about the way I am raising her. Am I doing ok? Am I going to royally screw her up?
Sometimes
She WON'T eat ANYTHING but fruit and bread
Sometimes
She throws food at restaurants
Sometimes
she gets up too early
Sometimes
she won't nap like I want her to
Sometimes
She takes off her diaper
Sometimes
she stinks
Sometimes
she's sticky
Sometimes
She just won't SHUT her trap
Sometimes
I am exhausted.
But there is absolutely nothing like having a daughter. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the whole wide world. I feel blessed and honored and totally undeserving at times. Because...
Sometimes
She looks at me and says "I love you, mama"
Sometimes
She kisses my cheeks
Sometimes
I find her rocking in the chair in her room with her bible on her lap
Sometimes
She reminds me that we need to pray before we eat
Sometimes
I go in and hold her while she's asleep and love feeling her little heart beating next to mine
Sometimes
She says "Hold you mama?"
Sometimes
She is the flower girl in your brother-in-laws wedding and she does PERFECT
Sometimes
She looks so cute in pigtails it hurts
Sometimes
She sings the cutest little songs
Sometimes
she fist bumps
Sometimes
She sits on the potty
Sometimes
we bake brownies together
Sometimes
She has the BIGGEST smile on the planet
Sometimes
she has the greatest belly laugh ever
Sometimes
She makes me fall more in love with her daddy
Sometimes
she holds my hand
Sometimes
We go on donut runs
Sometimes
I just don't know what I would do without her
Honestly she is such a gift.
One that takes lots of work and lots of prayer and lots of advice and lots of help because let's be real, I have NO IDEA what I am doing.
A gift that I thank the Lord for everyday,
NOT just sometimes.
