thoughts, just thoughts

Written by Shannon Leigh

Thoughts, just thoughts.

Why?

Because that's all I have time for.  I think A LOT but rarely do these thoughts actually come out in any form. I spend my days with small people that aren't much for conversation.  One of them just yells loudly, demanding food or drink at ALL TIMES.  And the other is so consumed with asking the same question 16 different ways to even know I exist. Well, other than to ask me to get her a snack.  Which by the way…

I could be BLEEDING out of my eyeballs and laying in a pool of my own blood and she would STILL demand a snack.  Kids are weird.  Precious little love-suckers but weird and demanding.

I am trying to get a grip on this motherhood thing and most days I am fairly certain I suck at it.  I am completely unqualified.  I am MORE than selfish and I can barely take care of myself- let alone 2 small people who look to me for every life-giving resource.  What the heck?  Why on earth did the Lord give these children to me?  I am sure there were other much more qualified people … maybe an elementary teacher, or a daycare provider, or a ventriloquist…?

But  on a daily basis I have to remind myself that God DID give them to me and HE does not make mistakes.  He gave them to me to raise with the love of my life... I mean how could I be so blessed?   All I am is a broken vessel crying out for the Lord to move and work IN SPITE of me.

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
2 corinthians 12:9

So here I am living in a heap of weakness so that He may be perfected. 

Amen.